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Creative Generalism: When boredom does not exist

7/5/2019

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Imagine a squirrel, balancing on a carrot, trying to draw a nice picture of a lake in Guatemala while it's being bombarded with origami birds wearing striped pajamas. That is probably the most picturesque description for creative generalism I can give you. If you don't understand that, don't worry. Very few people know what "creative generalism" is. Heck, I didn't know what it was. All I knew that I was running from project to project, from song to short-story and from photography to living room design, all in one day, each day, every day of the four decades I have spent on this planet so far. Sounds like fun, right? Wrong. It can be bloody annoying.

It was an ugly room, very feng-shui with the white walls and the depressed potted plants. On the floor there was a colorful carpet and a cheap made-in-China speaker creaked out something that must have been a new age tune. I remember three chairs and a ridiculous amount of pillows. I sat down on one of the chairs. I sighed. She tilted her head and looked at me. "So, what are you here for?" I had no idea. Anger, frustration, the feeling of being stuck in a rut. Nothing was wrong with me, I guessed, just another disgruntled citizen feeling like a failure. I ended up narrating some stories from my life. My first memory. My first toy. My inability to properly finish a project. And then, out of thin air, she hit the hammer.

"You are a creative generalist."

I frowned, mostly because I don't like people telling me what I am. Then she explained it. She told me about my brain, which constantly comes up with new ideas, schemes and fantasies. All this in sheer contrast with my mouth, which usually prefers to be quiet. She also said that it would probably never stop, unless I got hooked on Xanax or Aderall or whatever mind-numbing is fashionable. For a few moments, I thought about it. I'll admit that. There have been times when I just wanted to take that pill and go absolutely blank for a few hours. I never have. They scare me. I prefer a constantly raging mind over a prescription drug anytime. So I asked what I should do. Her advice was the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

​"Write a book about it."

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I paid her, severely regretted that and went home. I told my wife about the session and about the creative generalism. She replied; "well, I could have told you that." Eventually, I forgot all about my first and only session with a therapist, until a few months later. It was early in the afternoon. I was doing to the dishes when suddenly the first half of her sentence popped up. "Write a book." The following months were legendary. Every night, my fingers battered the keyboard. Imperturbable. Tireless.

I wrote my debut novel in a raging tempo. I was focused like never before. This was so me, everything went perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. There was still a lot to be learned about editing and publishing books. Mistakes had been made but the result was something to be proud of. 80.000 words, the longest thing I have ever written. Up until then, I had written short stories, poems and a whole bunch of music reviews, but this was something else. 'Cecilia's World' had become a unique piece of work: a novel about music. Errors or not, I was pretty damn proud of myself. After all, I did something I had never been truly able to: finish a lengthy project.

Then her voice came back. "Write a book about..."

"...psychokinesis," and off I went again. Inspired by Carrie, Matilda, Mr. Robot and the Zeitgeist movies, I started assaulting a brand new keyboard. Six monthly chapters, 120.000 words. An elaborate blueprint with room for improvisation. A massive soundtrack. Videos. Dubbed 'I Do Not Want This', the new book easily surpassed 'Cecilia's World'. That is, until I reached the 70.000 words mark. I froze. Words stopped flowing. I had been writing for months. Two, three, four, five hours per day. In between I contacted musicians and test readers. Suddenly however, all was blank, except for her words. 

​"Will you finally start writing that book about creative generalism?"

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I got angry. "Is this really the time to hit me with this thing? I know. I'm a creative generalist. I'm writing a book, composing music and trying to perfect all these technical details surrounding this project. Stop bothering me and let me finish this." I actually found myself talking to myself. That's not a very healthy situation. 

I started taking longer breaks in between writing sessions. I got reacquainted with SimCity and Time Team. I rediscovered the fine art of postponement. Yes, I felt guilty about it but not for long. A new story started blooming and I managed to postpone that one like a professional. I know now, time is on my side. I know that 'I Do Not Want This' will continue .

But her voice. Her sharp, stinging voice. It felt like fingernails on a blackboard. And then it dawned on me. "Hey, I'm a creative generalist. I can write different stories simultaneously," and here we are. I compromised, decided to start a blog about it and publish it here at Merchants Of Air.

Maybe she will read this. If so, I guess she'll be offended by my words once in a while. I will complain and nag about the uselessness of therapists and the money-grabbing business of psychological healthcare. That's what I do: use my writing skills to kick and claw and bite everything I think is unjust. Yet, maybe she will find some interesting anecdotes or even tips for her patients. I'm definitely not the only creative generalist on this blue globe but by now, I am an experienced one. I can hold on to an idea until the right moment. I can finish a project. I can outsource, cooperate and seek advice. My brain is still rumbling like a madman but I managed to install imaginary resistors which slow down and organize the ideas.

And who knows, maybe it can help you, too. Maybe you recognize the stories about brains rumbling like volcanoes. Perhaps you, too, are one of those people who love to write songs, paint landscapes, build ships in a bottle and cook the greatest lasagna in history, all before breakfast. If so, I have bad news for you. You are a creative generalist. You can't help it. There's no way out. You have to create. The good news is: it's not a disease, merely a brain working overtime. Once you realize that, you will never, ever get bored again. 

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Antwerp Metal Fest - Goe Vur A

4/5/2019

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"Oh fuck". That must have been my first thought when I saw the new dates for Antwerp Metal Fest. Unfortunately, the festival will take place during the same weekend as Dunk! Festival. For most people, that shouldn't be a big problem because of the different music styles. Metal versus post rock, easy-peasy, right? Well, not for me. I adore both styles and both festivals have managed to put absolute brilliance on their line-ups this year. Yet, I had to make a choice and I picked Dunk Festival, probably because I'm an old fart who prefers the calm atmosphere of the Flemish Ardennes over sheer brutality, riffs and beers in my hometown. 

However. Antwerp Metal Fest is one of the greatest things happening in the local underground. With an array of local bands, plus a few smashers, the people behind AMF have created something that is bigger than a metal festival. This is the loud equivalent of a family reunion. Instead of complaining about traffic jams, greedy Uncle George or the kid's weird diseases, people talk about music. People say things like: "Oh shit, I got to be on stage in three minutes." or "can I touch your boobs?". You know, stuff that only occasionally happens at family reunions.

Antwerp Metal Fest is fucking cool. If you're from Antwerp and love metal, you should be there. Or better yet, you should volunteer to help out (click here)
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One of the coolest things about this festival is their support for local, upcoming bands. Your Highness, Bütcher, Furia, Sons Of A Wanted Man, Mästürbätör, Throatsnapper, Fractured Insanity, Huracán,... iI's pretty much an Antwerp Music City thing if you see those names, or at least the wide local underground. I've seen most of them live already and I can guarantee that you will bang your head, mosh that pit and probably break a few limbs along the way.
Come to think of it, somehow it feels like Antwerp Metal Fest doesn't really need to add big names to their line-up. When I see all that Belgian violence standing there, I just know that this will turn into a massive party. I already regret missing it. Yet, they did their very best to come up with some jaw dropping acts. So let's go over the line-up and pick out a few solid recommendations for the young, aspiring metal heads among you. I mean, the seasoned headbangers need no introduction to AMF. They'll be mostly drunk before the first band hits the stage anyway, right? 

At The Gates

If you don't know At The Gates, you urgently need to educate yourself in the fine art of death metal. These Swedes have been massively influential as one of the forerunners of the Gothenburg sound. Between 1990 and 1996, At The Gates have written and recorded some of the most important releases in every melodic death metal fan's collection. Their debut 'The Red in the Sky Is Ours' is an absolute classic.

Kadavar

It's a bit weird to see Kadavar on this line-up. Most of the bands here move in the regions of death and thrash metal or even hardcore but this year the organization have added some Desertfest-elements. These psychedelic stoner rockers from Berlin will undoubtedly come up with an energetic slap of pure rock 'n roll. Buttocks will shake and heads will bang while these three German unleash their riffs.

Bütcher

Bütcher might be one of my favorite extreme bands in the Belgian underground. I've seen them quite a few times over past quite a few years and each time they impressed me quite a fuckload. Their blackened speedmetal comes at you in a raging tempo and with a deadly sound. Their stage performance makes the whole thing complete and credible. Yeah, I think this rotten country is a little better because Bütcher is still around.

Throatsnapper 

For some sluggish riff slavery, you'll have to turn to Throatsnapper and their pulverizing blend of doom and sludge metal. These guys are as local as LEZ-fines and as heavy as this city's cathedral. This will probably feel like being bombarded with steamrollers and you will probably love every single minute of it.

For I Am King

Those fascinated by djenting riffs and gut wrenching vocals might want to check out Dutch combo For I Am King. Those drooling over technical riffing will absolutely adore what these guys play. Those who think women sound to soft for metal will personally be ripped to shreds by Alma's vocal power. I feel that this will be one of those gems-to-be-discovered at Antwerp Metal Fest this year.

Hudiç 

A few people have criticized Antwerp Metal Fest for the lack of black metal on their line-up. Perhaps, this year Hudiç will make up for that. Their sound is rough, gritty and unforgiving. It also comes with a pitch black atmosphere that will engulf and overwhelm you. As the band mentions: "We couldnt' conquer our demon's... So We became one of them". This will be dark.

Sons Of A Wanted Man

I have no idea what is in the Belgian waters but our post-metal scene is simply baffling. Amenra will probably have something to do with that but even then, there is an amazing amount of excellent bands roaming this country. Sons Of A Wanted Man are one of them and they're slowly making a name for themselves. Rightfully too, if you ask me, their sound is as immersive as it is obliterating and as cathartic as it gets. You'll be either banging your head and crying out in absolute despair. You'll féél this gig, that's for sure.

Only seven bands, is that all?

Of course not. There is a shitload of bands to discover and enjoy at Antwerp Metal Fest. There is the hardcore of BillyBio, founding Biohazard guitarist/vocalist Billy Graziadei. Or how about Knocked Loose for some intense hardcore?

​Perhaps the ferocious death metal of Krisiun is right up your alley. If so, you'll also need to check out Furia for some nutsack ripping grindcore. Your Highness and Huracán will destroy the place and Goe Vur In Den Otto will send you home in good spirits, even though your head, your neck, your legs and your stomach will hurt like hell the day after. 

I've given you seven reasons to go to Antwerp Metal Fest and I'll give you one more. Pre-sale tickets are €45. That's two days of pure metal for the price of twenty minutes Metallica. And, euhm, each and every one of the bands at Antwerp Metal Fest will play their best songs. I'm not sure Metallica will. Anyway. Go buy tickets for this awesome gathering now (and here).


Serge
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    Serge's new episodic thriller 'I Do Not Want This' is now available.

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