Recently I have lost a good friend. He was a member of my rugby team, which means that he was like family. Only 19 years old he was. Not fair you would say. Another young man in the prime of his life who passed away too soon. I agree. A stupid accident suddenly ended his life. That was it. Gone in the blink of an eye.
It made me start thinking about how insignificant things can be, how we tend to worry about the little things. Am I going to get to work in time? What am I going to prepare for dinner? It is normal, I guess, that we do this. Having these thoughts, I mean. I think we do this because we are still in shock. We go into survival mode and try to comfort ourselves. But it is so damn difficult.
Although my friend wasn’t known for his great taste in music, he still inspired me to write this article. Every day there are people who lose their loved ones. The strong feelings and emotions (sadness, frustration, helplessness, anger…) that come with this can easily be found in music. Its intimate character is often a reflection of what happens inside our minds and hearts. It is strictly personal and no-one can tell you what to love and what not to like. That is why music is so important to me. It is one of the few places in which we can escape and completely be ourselves.
What I want to do now is talk about songs and bands that describe how I have experienced the past couple of days and that have helped me cope. When I say ‘describe’ I don’t mean that you only should look at the lyrics. You have got to let the music do most of the talking. Also, I am looking forward to your lists. The one that I present to you is certainly not exhaustive. There is obviously a lot more that I like and listen to, but I will only talk about those bands that I have been listening to since death became my unfortunate muse.
It made me start thinking about how insignificant things can be, how we tend to worry about the little things. Am I going to get to work in time? What am I going to prepare for dinner? It is normal, I guess, that we do this. Having these thoughts, I mean. I think we do this because we are still in shock. We go into survival mode and try to comfort ourselves. But it is so damn difficult.
Although my friend wasn’t known for his great taste in music, he still inspired me to write this article. Every day there are people who lose their loved ones. The strong feelings and emotions (sadness, frustration, helplessness, anger…) that come with this can easily be found in music. Its intimate character is often a reflection of what happens inside our minds and hearts. It is strictly personal and no-one can tell you what to love and what not to like. That is why music is so important to me. It is one of the few places in which we can escape and completely be ourselves.
What I want to do now is talk about songs and bands that describe how I have experienced the past couple of days and that have helped me cope. When I say ‘describe’ I don’t mean that you only should look at the lyrics. You have got to let the music do most of the talking. Also, I am looking forward to your lists. The one that I present to you is certainly not exhaustive. There is obviously a lot more that I like and listen to, but I will only talk about those bands that I have been listening to since death became my unfortunate muse.
The Van Jets – Matador
A song by The Van Jets that, for me, is all about desperation and frustration, feelings that are present at the moment. The lyrics and music go together very well and carry a clear message. There is a beast inside that wants to get out.
Steak Number Eight - Ashore
Another great Belgian band that I have been listening to a lot is Steak Number Eight. Their dark tone, noisy guitars and strong vocals create an atmosphere in which I find myself drifting away. It makes me reflect on life and how things could have been. I chose the song ‘Ashore’. It is one of their ‘softer’ tracks in my opinion, but it takes me away when it is needed.
Kapitan Korsakov - In The Shade Of The Sun
An atypical song for this rock band. Their second album ‘stuff&such’ hasn’t stopped playing for a while now. ‘In the shade of the sun’ is a 9-minute emotional roller-coaster. Although music is very intimate, intense and touches a lot of people, I don’t get carried away easily. This song, however, strikes a chord. Listen to it and you will know what I mean.
Killswitch Engage – The Arms of Sorrow
Sometimes it is just not that difficult and not much needs to be said. Killswitch Engage is one of my favorite bands. Singing along with their music really helps me blow off steam, especially in the car. Other songs that do the trick are: My Last Serenade and The End of Heartache
Black Keys - Little Black Submarines (the longer version)
My favorite song… It still gives me goose bumps when I listen to it. It is about being lost, having a broken heart and the need for help. The first half of the song begins as a quiet ballad. The very fragile atmosphere that is created builds up easily and nicely to the second half. What happens then can’t be done better by anyone ever again. Fragile becomes robust. Even the toughest diamonds can be broken.
Metallica – Fade To Black
One of the most depressing songs ever. The past couple of days I have rediscovered this one. It is literally about death and addresses suicidal feelings. Although I certainly do not intend to hurt myself, I can relate to it. Strangely it makes me feel better and alive. Not only Fade to Black, but also Welcome Home (Sanitarium) does this to me. Metallica always helps…
Postscript
I realize now that having written this article and talking briefly about these bands has been part of my grieving process. I am convinced that there are people that can relate to some things that I have said. There will also be those who can’t. Therefore, I am interested to know how music helped, has helped or has been helping you.
Michiel
I realize now that having written this article and talking briefly about these bands has been part of my grieving process. I am convinced that there are people that can relate to some things that I have said. There will also be those who can’t. Therefore, I am interested to know how music helped, has helped or has been helping you.
Michiel
