On the upcoming website, women can find heavily bearded man and man can find equally hairy woman. We welcome every race, religion and sexual orientation, as long as they are into downtuned guitars and pounding drums. There will be elaborate profiles with rooms for dozens of pictures. There will be chatrooms, some with video. There will be self-help videos in sludge-fashion and plenty more.
According to the owners, this new website will gradually improve dating chances for people with lots of hair who smell like a combination alcohol and weed. At this moment we're sending out e-mails to rockchicks, post-metalladies and post-rock fangirls allover the world. We need these people to sing up before the website launches because we're gonna start with a bang.
"We're not doing this for the money", owner Serge added, "we just feel sorry for all the lonely people out there. You know, pop-musicians get laid every day, creating a huge pile of soulless, tasteless and empty young artists. We need real music".